Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
