I think my fart just growled at me.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize