no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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