there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
