Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize