Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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