I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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