I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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