I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
