wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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