i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
