So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
