we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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