so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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