I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
