maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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