dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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