Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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