I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
