I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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