There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
