She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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