look no pants
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
