Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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