So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
