Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
