small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize