I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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