my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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