Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
