Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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