so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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