Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
