Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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