dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
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I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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I wish there were birth control emojis
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.