Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit