I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?