and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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