this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize