I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
