bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So. Much. Porn.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
