so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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