Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
