these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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