9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
why is half of my head shaved?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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