i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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