Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
