john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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