well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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