Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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