is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
