oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
