Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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