I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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