I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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