I never want to see another naked old woman again.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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