before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
sarcasm needs its own font
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
