And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
