I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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