"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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