he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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