i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
