My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
