Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
