he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
