I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
People in love make me want to vomit
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
