It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Randomize
