no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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