every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
